Splatalot is all about the hilarity of watching contestants get splattered, with the best spills instantly replayed in slow-motion. With oversized props, cool special effects and lively characters, it’s sure to be a highly-entertaining adventure

First thoughts are this sounds a little like a younger version of Total Wipeout, which is also a large obstacle course hosted in another country that pits a large number of contestants against each other. But without the water!

Splatalot will be filmed this Summer near Toronto and will be delivered to CBBC in Spring 2011.

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Billed as “Hanna-Barbera meets The Mighty Boosh”, the show actually sounds fairly entertaining for us big kids as well as the target audience. Brought to us by the creative team behind sketch show, The Wrong Door, the premise is that Rufus Hound has landed the job presenting a new (fictional) CBBC show called Funlab. On his first day, however, his future self turns up and transports him to a “fantastic” parallel universe.

In this alternative dimension, Rufus is pursued by an evil genius called Dr Muhahahaha and subsequently leads to a series of handy 30-minute adventures across the multiverse (apparently). Even though Rufus usually thwarts the Doctor’s evil plans, he has a convenient reset button which sends Rufus back in time, Groundhog Day-style, only to repeat and rinse.

With reference to the Boosh comes high expectations, and the combination of “amazing visual effects and stunning sets” might lend itself very well to the same style of humour, although pitched a little lower for family friendly viewing. Personally I haven’t warmed to Rufus Hound in the little I’ve seen him in, but this might just be his calling.

Hounded starts Friday 11th June on CBBC.

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A number of known comedy writers will be joining the show this series including Steve Punt, Jon Holmes (Dead Ringers), Giles Pilbrow (Have I Got News For You), Laurence Rickard (Armstrong And Miller) and Ben Ward (M.I. High). The show will also feature performances from David Baddiel, Alexei Sayle and more.

Horrible Histories is produced by Lion TV for CBBC and is based on the book series by author Terry Deary and illustrator Martin Brown, licensed by Scholastic Entertainment and published by Scholastic UK.

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In a series of missions these young recruits are guided by part-human/part-machine mentor Caleb in a battle against the Roboidz – intelligent towering cybernetic entities who rule the Earth.

In order to outwit the Roboidz, these intrepid adventurers must snatch bio-rods, the enemy’s vital fuel source, in order to shut down their empire.

In 2110 there are few other humans left. Those captured by the Roboidz are processed to become Shades, mindless workers who serve the Roboidz in an unknown project deep below the complex that they have made their base on Earth.

The Roboidz floating base Future Gate is heavily fortified and unassailable by the small pockets of human resistance that still exist.

But one man has somehow gained access and, hidden amid the laboratories, workshops and production lines, Caleb wages a war against the Roboidz.

But this man cannot defeat the Roboidz alone – he needs help. And that help can come from only one place – the past.

Young recruits from a century before are being transported by a malfunctioning time portal into the very heart of this last-ditch fight for survival. They must find a way to defeat the deadly Roboidz and unlock both their secrets and those of Future Gate.

In a series of challenges, the recruits are transported to battle the immense mechanical monsters. They will need to use their cunning, guile and intelligence to beat the mighty tyrants in order to avoid being vaporised. But can they succeed?

Exciting stuff! Lindsay Duncan lends her voice skills as the good and evil alter egos of the Roboidz creator and newcomer Stuart Goldsmith steps into the metal shoes of Caleb. There will also be an online element to the show, with games and narrative that complement the broadcast material and allow players to unlock the Cycon Archive to “delve into Caleb’s mysterious past and discover how the Roboidz came to take over the planet”.

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Great news for all fans of the Sarah Jane Adventures. The Doctor Who spin-off has been commissioned for a further two 12-part series after fantastic viewing figures for Series Three as well as critical acclaim.

Series Four will air this autumn and will feature the return of Elisabeth Sladen as Sarah Jane, along with Luke, Clyde and Rani. Enemies old and new will star, including the Nightmare Man and the Shansheeth, plus a visit to an alien world.

Series Five will start production next year and will air a few months later.

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That sentence probably doesn’t convey the strength of his feeling enough.

For my son, telly is like heroin.

Actually, that’s probably overstating it just a bit.  I should really have thought about this before I started writing.  OK, let’s just say that his affection for the goggle box is less than a drug addict’s need for smack but certainly more than the tenderness he feels for either of his parents.

So far it’s been a very happy relationship.  He doesn’t watch it all the time.  He doesn’t even watch it all the time he wants to.  However, occasionally as a way of encouraging some good behaviour in other areas of his life, or if I fancy a bit of peace and quiet, he’ll be allowed to have a gawp.  For heaven sake both his parents have made a living out of TV so the roof over his head, the clothes on his back, the expensive toys that he refuses to play with have all been paid for by TV.

Up until now my son has favoured one of two viewing pleasures.

1. Movies (generally an animated classic such as Jungle Book, Toy Story, Monsters Inc etc)

Or

1. CBeebies.

Over the last three years our viewing landscape has been a world inhabited by yoga performing sprites, creatures with names like Macca Pacca and YoJo Jo, and silly grown-ups who dress up and fall down a lot.  It has been fun and colourful and unthreatening.  I can leave my kids in front of CBeebies safe in the knowledge that as soon as my back is turned it’s not going to start swearing or drinking or bringing up “issues”.

Now though my eldest is in the process of migrating from CBeebies to CBBC and I simply don’t know how to cope.  It’s like watching the first broadcast after an apocalyptic nuclear strike has all but wiped out humanity.  It’s dreadful, his mother and I are jabbering wrecks forever having to monitor what he watches and handing out ridiculous censorship rules like some kind of nightmare-ish Orwellian Government.  We’ve already panicked and banned him from watching Tracy Beaker, although Joe obviously watches it when we’re not with him because he recently called me a super loser and I’m pretty sure his grandmother didn’t teach him that.

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This is a bit of a treat for parents really. In the dark ages before digital TV, when the BBC only had two TV channels, childrens shows ruled the airwaves between 3:30 and 5:30 every weekday afternoon. Children’s BBC, or CBBC, for many years came from the broom cupboard with legends Philip Schofield and Andi Peters, amongst others. I’m sure many of you remember it well.

There used to be short animations that led into the programs. These animations, called idents, were often themed and the Christmas idents were particularly good. The fantastic TVARK website has a collection of these, along with a few other clips, which should bring back a few memories. To get you started, here is the ident from CBeebies last Christmas.

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Welcome to the My Kids TV Advent Calendar 2009. Behind the first door is a video unleashed on the world only a week or so ago, but has become an instant classic because of the sheer number of Kids TV icons that appear in it. I am, of course, talking about the Children In Need 2009 Medley.

Mastermind by Peter Kay, the four-and-a-half-minute video features over 100 animated children’s television characters from both sides of the Atlantic. Big Chris (voiced by Kay) from Roary The Racing Car leads the singing and the medley features a total of seven songs:

1. Can You Feel It – The Jacksons (0.00 – 1.08)
2. Don’t Stop – Fleetwood Mac (1.08 – 2.12)
3. Jai Ho! (You Are My Destiny) – A.R. Rahman & The Pussycat Dolls (2.12 – 2.41)
4. Tubthumping – Chumbawamba (2.41 – 2.59)
5. Never Forget – Take That (2.59 – 3.18)
6. Hey Jude – The Beatles (3.18 – 3.37)
7. One Day Like This – Elbow (3.37 – 4.30)

The cover of the single (pictured above) is a parody of The Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band album cover, featuring the stars of the video. The single only reached no 18 in the first week of release (most people were initially just downloading the video), but it reached number one on Sunday. If you would like to buy the single (another great stocking filler) it’s available on DVD for £3.98 from Amazon (with free delivery). Each sales means another donation to Children In Need.

And just in case you’re wondering, here’s a list of all the characters in the video (thanks Wikipedia!)

Jenny Woodentop
Bill
Ben
Andy Pandy
Looby Loo
Teddy
Pudsey Bear
Paddington Bear
Alderney
Orinoco
Bungo
Great Uncle Bulgaria*
Wellington
Engie Benjy
Jollop the Dog
Tinky Winky
Dipsy
Laa-Laa
Po
Igglepiggle
Upsy Daisy
Makka Pakka
Tombliboos
Pinky Ponk
Peppa Pig
George
Virgil Tracy
John Tracy
Scott Tracy
Brains
Parker
Lady Penelope
Zippy
George
Bagpuss
Scooby Doo
Shaggy
Ben Tennyson
SpongeBob SquarePants
Roobarb
Custard
Paolo the Cat
Mavis the Pony
Small Green Thing
Sooty
Sweep
Soo
Windy Miller
Chippy Minton
Miss Lovelace
Frank the koala
Buster the koala

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The new 10-part series, which is narrated by Barney Harwood, will show the video diaries of the agents as they head off to the four corner of the globe, from Alaska to Madagascur.  Each 30-minute episode was shot alongside the world renowned BBC Natural History Unit and included exciting experiences including working with polar bears and getting hands-on with lemurs.

Inside Life is coming to CBBC this Autumn.

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Due to air early next year, Relic sounds like a cross between The Crystal Maze and The Da Vinci Code! Set in the British Museum, a team of children must “complete complex challenges and confront visions from the past in their quest for answers.”  The show will weave in topics from The Arts and History, giving this runaround a more educational slant.  Thirteen 30-minute shows are to be produced.

I used to really enjoy shows like Knightmare and The Crystal Maze, and I hope that these immersive game shows for kids will make a comeback, where the audience is challenged as well as the contestants.

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